Crafting your wedding guest list is no easy feat, especially when deciding who gets a plus-one. Offering a guest the option to bring a date can impact your budget, seating plan, and overall guest experience. So how do you decide who qualifies for a plus-one without upsetting anyone?
At Vibe Non-Long Island, we’ve compiled a guide to help you navigate the tricky waters of plus-one etiquette. Here’s how to make thoughtful, practical decisions that work for your wedding.
When to Offer a Plus-One
1. Married, Engaged, or Long-Term Partners
Guests who are married, engaged, or in long-term relationships should always be given a plus-one. These relationships are typically seen as a social unit, and not offering a plus-one in these cases may be seen as a faux pas.
Examples:
- A cousin who is engaged to their partner.
- A college friend who has been dating someone for several years.
2. Wedding Party Members
It’s a nice gesture to extend a plus-one to members of your bridal party, even if they’re single. They’ve invested a lot of time and effort into your big day, and having a guest to celebrate with can make the experience more enjoyable.
Examples:
- Your maid of honor who isn’t in a relationship.
- A groomsman who recently started dating someone.
3. Out-of-Town Guests
If someone is traveling a significant distance to attend your wedding, offering them a plus-one shows appreciation for their effort. It allows them to bring a companion, making their travel experience more comfortable.
Examples:
- Your childhood friend flying in from across the country.
- A cousin traveling internationally for your big day.
4. Guests Who May Not Know Many People
If a guest doesn’t know many (or any) other attendees, offering a plus-one can help them feel more comfortable and included.
Examples:
- A work colleague who isn’t close with your other friends.
- A family friend who doesn’t know your extended family.
When You Can Skip the Plus-One
1. Casual Acquaintances
If the guest is someone you’re not particularly close to, there’s no obligation to offer a plus-one.
Examples:
- A distant coworker or client.
- A distant cousin you’ve rarely spoken to.
2. Guests Who Are Single and Content
Not every single guest will expect a plus-one. If they’re comfortable attending solo and will know other people at the wedding, it’s okay to skip the plus-one option.
Examples:
- Your independent college friend who loves socializing.
- A sibling who doesn’t mind flying solo.
3. Strict Budget or Venue Limitations
If your budget or venue capacity doesn’t allow for many plus-ones, you can be selective. Focus on offering plus-ones to the most appropriate relationships and explain your constraints if needed.
Examples:
- You’re hosting an intimate wedding at a small venue.
- Your budget limits your guest list to immediate family and close friends.
How to Handle Awkward Situations
1. A Guest Assumes They Have a Plus-One
If a guest assumes they can bring someone without being invited, address it politely but firmly.
What to Say:
“While we’d love to accommodate everyone, we’re keeping our guest list small to ensure an intimate celebration. Thank you for understanding!”
2. A Guest Requests a Plus-One
If someone directly asks for a plus-one, consider the request within your budget and space constraints. If you can’t accommodate, respond kindly.
What to Say:
“We’re so excited to have you at our wedding! Unfortunately, we’re unable to extend plus-ones due to venue capacity. We hope you understand!”
3. A Plus-One Causes Tension
If you’re concerned about a guest’s plus-one causing drama, it’s okay to explain your reasoning and stick to your boundaries.
What to Say:
“We’re trying to keep the day as comfortable as possible for everyone, so we’ve made the decision to limit plus-ones. Thank you for understanding.”
Tips for Managing Plus-Ones
- Be Clear on Invitations: Specify exactly who is invited by including their names on the envelope and RSVP card. For example, “John Smith and Guest” or just “John Smith.”
- Set a Rule: Decide early on how you’ll handle plus-ones (e.g., only married or engaged couples) and stick to it consistently.
- Communicate Early: If you anticipate questions or misunderstandings, address them early to avoid last-minute surprises.
Conclusion
Deciding who gets a plus-one can feel like a tricky balancing act, but with clear guidelines and thoughtful communication, you can handle it with ease. Remember, it’s your day, and your choices should reflect your vision for your celebration.
At Vibe Non-Long Island, we’re here to make every step of your wedding planning journey easier. Stay tuned for more expert tips and inspiration for your Long Island wedding!
